Soldier-Up to Bombs, Bullets and Broken Hearts

Moving at the speed of light we take a head dive into the ocean of love with every attempt at making life more livable for ourselves and our loved ones with a brand new view. Then out of no where...

In a flash, a blink of an eye, the heart skips a beat, breaks, bounces, flutters, flies, falls high and hard, bombs burst with dissapointment, bullets of bewilderment fly, shattering hopes, splintering, piercing pain as shrapnel sprays it's scorching, searing destructive force. We want to sigh, die, bury our head in our own arms on the table of torment and just cry until we are left weak, hoping and praying, begging the ache to go away. Say goodbye to the tenderness snatched right out from under us, out of no where. Take a deep breath as a particular death and darkness beats down a love that just yesterday shined new light, timeless, seemingly well suited and poised for longevity. The earth becomes flat and we fall off the edge.

Stand tall armed with strength, courage, dignity...move forward one step at a time. Let tears flow, trickle down your sad face, get it out of your system as you wash yourself and renew. Resolve to refresh, replenish, restore and recharge as the shock waves slowly subside.

A loved one offers pearls of wisdom and says; "The warrior in you is saying; "I'll take it from here" when you decide that." "Love yourself as much as you love another." "OK now flip the switch in your heart too."

I'm amazed at the places one finds encouragement when feeling defeated. On a pair of recently acquired Samurai pants in Chinese calligraphy is very cool eye-catching artwork. It translates to: "Still Heart Poem" and says; if you hold back anger the winds will still and waves will calm, if you take one step back the sky will clear and oceans will fill ~

Rest in Peace Ramona

February 18, 1931-August 19, 2008 ~ Ramona Nolasco, cousin and Godmother to me. Devoted daughter, sister, wife, mother, mother-n-law, grandmother, aunt, good neighbor, artist, long standing member of the Women's Guild of Our Lady Of Fatima Catholic Church. What a big heart, generous, quick witted, smart, sensible...deceased, yet the goodness, love and all the lively memories remain. What a great role model she was for many, not just for women but a great example of what a good person is all about. She was a solid citizen and contributing, upstanding member of society. She had good common sense with a really sharp sense of humor, practicality was also part of her arsenal of qualities and she will be missed tremendously.

Ramona succumbed to complications of Parkinson's disease. She gave it a good fight after several years. The last time I saw her was around Christmas, 2007. I pulled out a beautiful ceramic nativity set she made for me some years ago. The set included the three wise men, a camel, donkey, little drummer boy and of course Joseph and Mary with Baby Jesus. I had to see Ramona to thank her and remind her of that nativity set she made me and how beautiful it looked on my shelf in the entertainment center. When I saw her it was a shock, I knew she was ill with Parkinson's but to know what type of women she was for all those years, strong, exuberant, so active and involved with life and seemed to make every moment count. She kept an organized, neat and very cozy home and now to see her so physically incapacitated, it was heart wrenching to say the least.

She will be missed. Her grandchildren, particularly Camille, Allice and Rudy (Tripper) were awesome as they stepped-in and made sure they could help their precious Grandmother during the last couple of years and covered every detail imaginable to comfort her and make life manageable. It's pretty amazing, the level of support, especially Camille, showed during the hardest days, what a true testimony to the love and devotion a grandchild or any child can have for their aging and ailing loved one.

There are some people who you see next to never yet you know will be there no matter what, special or sad times, celebrations and such. It's a given. Even earlier today talking to one of my sisters she automatically included Ramona while mentioning the people who are invited to join us in celebrating my Mothers 83rd birthday next week. It's an automatic, knee jerk type-thing. And now Romona has transitioned on into what I believe is a better place...peaceful, powerful, perfect, a place of privilege and with her daughter Renee who preceeded Ramona in death several years ago due to an illness that took her life quickly. That really knocked alot of wind out of Ramona and maybe the heart break and headache of Rene's death somehow triggered the Parkinson's. We'll never know. It doesn't matter. Ramona will be thought of endearingly and loved forever by those of us whose lives she touched and impressed with her goodness and presence while living out all of her days and nights in this world.

We love you Ramona!
Sincerely,
Mary Ellen

Did You Hear The One About...

MOON BLUE

Stevie Wonder

Moon blue, rivers of love you shine,

Bathe me in light sublime

Flood me with all your glowing heart can give

Moon blue, memories bind like chains

When will you come again

I wait in darkness just for your bright to beam

'Cause I'm not afraid of the consequence

Of being in love with you

And I'd rather be alone some nights

Awaiting your full hue

For though the sun makes bright the day

My world is dark when there's no you

You light my skies and make dark night bright day,

Moon blue Moon blue, your beauty's seen by all,

the yearning of your call

Travels the world and then makes home my soul

Moon blue,

lift me to starry heights, I long to live within your light

Solace of mind, my heart is yours for always

'Cause I'm not afraid of the consequence

Of being in love with you

And I'd rather be alone some nights

Awaiting your full hue

For though the sun makes bright the day

My world is dark when there's no you

You light my skies and make dark night bright day, Moon blue

~ Wonderful ~

Nature Boy

..." The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return" ~ From the song; Nature Boy, composed by Eden Ahbez in the late 1940's. ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

A hidden treasure named Lizz Wright offers a hauntingly beautiful rendition of this timeless classic with a virtuoso percussionist named Jeffrey Hains accompaning her ~

August ~ Amen

So, we meet again? Blame It On The Bossa Nova. It's entirely my pleasure, I'm sure. It's a brand new day, a brand new way to strive and thrive, to thrust forward in the right direction with a good heart, armed with kindness, respect and all the choices and chances to start over, fresh and brand new all over again. Reflect and deflect defective darkness devoid of virtue, to have an effect, potent impact, to be or not to be better, or bitter, badder, blessed and a blessing. To propel one's self with the propulsion of a rocket and positive force to be reckoned with as our perception creates our peace and place in the world.

The part of life that is lovely, light and lingers on in our memory rendering relief and respite...a soft reflection in hard times of loneliness or to recount a piece of life with regret, remorse or a wish and prayer that you could undo, redo or remain undisturbed, undaunted, unmoved by the pain of the present and past. There is a pull and push to steady the course, maintain balance in an unbalanced world. To be a rock when everything is rolling, to run when it would be easier to walk. To stay when you want to go. To go when you would love to stay. To hasten to a destination when you would rather drift along. Be still, calm and quiet when you are compelled to cry, rant and rave. Patience, peace, the divine purity and perfection placed in our very presence to protect us in the eye of the storm so we might emerge unscathed, sheltered and shinier through it all.

The magical, most memorable moments in time seem to zip past us at warp speed, begging to be savored, suspended in time, frozen long enough to take hold of your heart then float on to infinity. The luxury of pondering such things in a world drowning in doubt, dispair, indebted to so many for so much, depleted and dying for good loving, good living and laughter...joy-jumping, foot-stomping, side-splitting, lighting-fast bits of life we wish would last forever as the creamy and complete experiences leave you wanting more.

Good morning , good day, good after noon, good night, good God Bless us, then, now and forever, never forgetting the good, standing tall, stronger than your weakness and carry on with the heart of a lion and the brilliance of a bursting, blazing galaxy, stretching and streaking across the vastness, the monumental beauty in you, in us, in our midst, reminding ourselves with youthful exuberant purpose and intention to build a better home, a safe and happy place, a port in the storm when one is lost, afraid, in need of the warmth and comfort of words and ways to encourage hope, a better awareness and understanding of an unbelievably perfect, safe, peaceful, powerful place and time, accessible right here and now, to those who seek such miraculous nuggets of heaven. The prospects are exciting, exhilarating, at once excruciatingly overwhelming to imagine the possibilities. Relax, restart, at ease.

Go and come in peace and find a way toward or back to something or someone good, kind, right and real. Is it you, is it me all along like the answers found in some questions? Let go, no reaction to the action of shame, blame, judgement, torment, twisting what is good into distasteful and fictitious falsehoods. Time is wasted with self imposed burdens, bitter tears are shed yet washes you clean. Take comfort in time invested to smooth out the bumps and bruises, leaping above the lumps and lacerations of life, emerging like a champion with the ones you love and take with you forever, into a place we can only imagine, far beyond our wildest dreams.

The original entry today was inadvertently erased. I put together a few thoughts this afternoon, it was something out of the "slap my face and call me Willie" files. It shook me to the core, like a lighting bolt, shocking the sh*t out of me. I lost it with a tap of a button. To rewrite, reword verbatim, the inspired soliloquy is asking to much. I started writing about summer winding down and back to school time, then I heard Kid Rock sing Amen ... I took a left turn and another go at it as someone laments, yet again, about life so laughable, lovable, deplorable, delightful, simple, tangled and true.

The tall and short of it... I pray and love you into the future with pure intention to lighten your load, when it's heavy, to lift your spirit when it's not clear or cleaned for take-off. I bid you peace of mind and wish for hope, courage, commitment to keep your corner of the world and mine...smoother, softer, smarter, sweeter, healthier, standing upright, ultimately happier for the wear and tear of tears, cheers, triumphs and tragedies, by The Rivers of Babylon.

I bow my head to you and to pilgrims everywhere; Viya con Dios mi preciosa amigas y amigos de mi corazon y alma! To People Who Need People... aah that would be you and me.

Look at Those Cover Girl Eyes

The thing about our beloved Boxers is their spirit, heart, soul...divine. The bearer of goodness, good cheer, warmth, affection, nonjudgement, excitement, oh yah...exuberant as all get out, athletic, ready for a walk, run or ride at a moments notice, funny, full of joy, posers, as in strike a pose, loyal...oh my God, the loyalty. What's not to love and adore?

I've known some great doggie dogs in my life; Moochie, Muskie, Juno, Tuffy, Sammie, ChaCha-Marie-Jack, Sandy Jean, Maggie, Jiggs, Rufus, of course Alexander Maximillian Wolfgang Francois Dubois Houndog Ramirez de Ipiotis. I just called my boy; Alexander or Ali Babba or Ali Bob, whatever I was in the mood to call him, half Doberman, half Alaskan Malamute, and one hell of a dog with quite a presence. My mother sometimes referred to him as a sheep in wolves clothing, because of his fierce face. If we ever picked-up a hitch hiker, back in the early 80's, on the way to Vegas or Gallup he would let me know if the individual had a weapon, with a growl, as if to say; "Watch it with this one Mair, he's packing heat,"

Yah, whose gonna try anything funky with a big black and tan dog-face (puro cara) leaning over the front seat, right in your face like; "Where you headin fella?" "We're on a road trip and if you try anything motha f**ker, I'm gonna take a big-bloody-bite out of your hitchhiking face much faster than you can cause any trouble." "No warning, I'll just mess you up, real-quick-type-thing." I wouldn't do that now-a-days, way too risky, sadly but honestly, way to hostile a world out there and Alexander is in heaven. Rruff.

But back to the Boxers. I just love them. I will write and blog more about those crazy but incredibly lovable doggie-dogs. The first Boxer I've sheltered and shared a good part of life with was Annie May, she loved children and children loved her, then Spike, Annies good son. He was a baby-cry but was intimidating and had that don't f**k with me look. Both dogs succumbed to mass cells and we loved them to death. I held both of them in my arms at their respective time of death, when it was time to let them go. I cried like a baby to have to say goodbye to my precious doggies. <-Spikey the big boy (top), and his precious mommie, Annie, posing on the arm of the chair.

And now we have our kooky Sunni Marie Jack Paws or Paz Guadalupita.

We named her Guadalupita because we brought her home from Gary's (big brother) the day before the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. We got Annie from Gary and Dellie back in the early 90's, probably 1990 to be exact. Anyway loves me my Boxerz. Sunni Marie ->

Dogs really do make life, for me anyway, more livable and often I've pondered that 'ol addage that goes something like: "The more I know poeple, the more I like my dog." Woof!

Redickulous

Joyful one, you wonder what I would say about man's best friend...Ask a ridiculous question-get a redickulous answer. Pretty simple; It has it's place.

Some male and female, egocentrics fancy themselves to have a substantial enough "beginning" to sling it in back of their shoulders. Big, drag on the floor, gets in the room before you do...big...notifying the whole world "I am here, you lucky people"..."large and in charge, alpha a**hole." I know how it goes... I know that brash, brazen, cocky way. Nothing to be proud of necessarily.

It's an ego maniac type thing...absurd, asinine behavior requiring the dumb ass "ego" to be stroked, nothing less than audacious, psychotic, cave- dwelling, bizarre, freaky and thankfully for me fleeting albeit out of control, even if only for a moment.

HAZARD-WARNING: Reality check required. So let's break it down, fold? bend? but not mutilate in graphic detail. The long and short of it: Fry, shake n bake it up, sizzling, shriveling hot, open face and served generously to those jonzin to show it off the most, to see who wins the pissing contest, drag it around like a boa on Marilyn Monroe and see whose is bigger. That's pretty much what I'd say Joy.