JAX 🐾

We rescued eachother over twelve years ago. It was as much of an adjustment to get used to having the big brutus of a Boxer around as it is now to adjust to good dog not being here now. His soul and great spirit remains and visiting me the afternoon following his send-off in the morning at the veterinarians office. The painful decision stemmed from advancing heart failure that was making it more challenging for him to get comfortable and move.

In the dream I sit at the dining room table and look up to see Jax standing in front of the loveseat. I stand up and walk a few steps toward him to make sure he is really there. It is so vivid yet I think to myself, this is a dream. I walk to the other side of the couch and good boy moves over to where I sit so that I can love him-up with kisses and hugs about his beautiful furry face and head. The moment with Jax dissipated into my awaking from the nap was taking. It was as powerful and heaven sent message for me as the butterfly incidents following brother Mark's death in 1994.

It is so amazing how much our beloved pets mean to us, their presence enriches our lives. It is priceless therapy to know the warmth, love and trust of a pet who makes life so much more enjoyable and fun and full of surprises and joy. 

I miss you quite much, Jax, my guy, my hito, companion through Covid, the good days and bad, the wonderful times and worrisome occasions that turned-out better just having you around, so comforting with the innocence, humility and heart warming ways befitting an angel. 🐾💔

New and Improved

If we are talking about goals, striving for good health, happiness and peace inwardly and out from there is good for starters in the name of a new and improved year. I would like to fill in the blanks in my life, complete the sentence, project, thing, that requires completion or my attention at the very least. Yes, "fill in the blank", whatever that means,  for an empty person or blank moment as it dares you to somehow fill-in it's emptiness maybe even improve and bless that which requires 

So much of life is unclear, blurred lines intersect as questions and answers, brew, bubble-up and spill-over to more uncertainty. One good thought or thing at a time as life unfurls, sometimes flailing about sometimes unfolding at it's own predictable, sometimes most unorthodox, mysterious pace, calmly, quietly, peacefully, at warp speed in slow motion always with, wings of God's speed and protection. 

To be alive is good to live our days peacefully and accomplish big or little blessed goals while we continue to grow even better and more beautiful for the wear and tear everyday.

A Year

A little over a year now since you've been gone Mom, it seems like this morning when you knew your time to take your leave had arrived; you said; It's time. No don't go Mariana, Maria said, that Saturday morning, January 30th, 2016. You sang a little song, prayed a little prayer and called it a day ~

I drove-up and went straight to your room and walked calmly toward you. I could not get close enough to tell you that I love you, will always hold you in my heart, thoughts and prayers. We knew this moment would happen at God's speed. Still the sting of realities bite was numbing and knocked the breath out of me. I wanted to express my gratitude for taking care of me, all of your six children, keeping us out of trouble not letting up on your wish to know your kids were clear about the difference between right and wrong and the importance of Respect.

Your voice, your laughter, the voice of disapproval, disappointment, anger, joy, frustration, fear, faith, appreciation, love, affection... it is locked and loaded in my memory bank. You influenced me in so many ways, by your example I learned to be kind and compassionate, thoughtful and generous and grateful for blessings bestowed upon us.

I love you Mom. THANK YOU

It's All Good ~

There is a place where it is all good and calm, clean, healthy of mind, body and spirit, secure, safe and beautiful. It is where love and peace dwell and all is well, where blessings are itemized, the inventory vast, constant miracles abound and whispers from heaven, common. With a keen sense of appreciation for countless blessings received I wrap humble gratitude around my heart like the warm glow of fire underneath the massive hearth.

I pray we access the sacred place of peace in the midst of doubt and despair. I wish the young and old, forgotten and forsaken, the mistreated and traumatized from all walks of life in every part of the world would find the peaceful, perfect powerful place they long for. For light in dark places where suffering and fear are no longer constant companions nor reality so harsh. I pray consolation overthrows what seems hopeless and joy hastens to diminish sorrow.

It's not all good and not quite clear as to why anguish, anger, greed, hate and oppression become main languages spoken. One person lives with chronic mental, emotional or physical pain while another lavishes in the pleasures of life. If only life were fair and provided equal distribution of love, compassion, happiness, where kindness and respect are the first and last order of the day and we realize every moment in between is an opportunity to make it all good.

Memories

Memories come alive and take over the present moment. In an instant a thought turns into a scene from the past, flashbacks tug on your heartstrings and leave you yearning for more of those moments we wanted to last forever, like the people who have preceeded us in death and whom we love so dearly, still ~