What It Is

Right now at this moment life takes place even though reality can seem like a dream, 
an illusion perhaps or just the heat getting to me. I wonder about many things. I wonder about the what if's, the how, who, when, why and where of things. I look for answers and also resign myself to the fact that I may not receive answers to questions as some answers are revealed immediately or unfold over time.

In the case of keeping life simple and doable in all it's complexities, chaotic nonsense, glory and awesomeness. It is helpful to somehow stay centered and calm by finding peace within. For me that includes faith, hope and being open to receive blessings and peace while sorting out the mysteries and wonder of life and accept that life is what it is.  ☮️ 💛 

Dear September

Good to see you again. On-going blessings continue and surround me. I am grateful for the ability to recognize and appreciate the countless gifts that have been bestowed upon me. 

Thank God, The Holy Spirit, Life, Love

I am eternally yours, 

mairbear

Go In Peace

Interesting and Blessed are the best descriptions for the year we say goodbye to. The year included heartache, happiness, love lost and found. New lessons always to be learned as life continues to be full of surprises and dissapointments.                           

It has been a good year with life changes for the better. Funny not so funny how life challenges us constantly to keep ourselves together and strive constantly to improve ourselves in the slightest to the grandest way possible. 

To grow in peace with simple approaches to complicated things. I am happier when I take life one peaceful thought at a time, one moment and one day at a time. I am happy to realize it is better for me to not take things personally as people have their own internal challenges to deal with and navigate through life. Peace be with you now and into the future. ☮

See you September

Thank you for the ride, September. Thank you for the thrills and chills, the highs and very lows. I am grateful and happy I lived through another birthday. The bittersweetness of a birthday without twin brother Mark physically around is on my mind actually all month and often throughout the year for many reasons, seasons, sports, news and weather updates, the laughter, loyalty and love.

Life goes on for 
those still living even though the mysteries of death, the why's and when loved ones transition into another existance is an age old heart aching experience shared by the living and the dead as well. 

LIfe or Death

 

Born to live, love, experience life every moment through crystal clear times when one thing leads to the other in sync with everything accordingly. There is a rhythm, structure, a set path before you. A predictable schedule, commitments and appointments. Then there are days when the view is blurred, things do not make sense and seem to be out of whack. You get on with it anyway and hope things work out and become clear and managable. Tides turn in surprising directions and we respond in kind armed with common sense and the hope and faith in better things to come.

For all of lifes certainties there are times we do not see coming like the death of a loved one. We are shocked when one day we are lunching and laughing, appreciating eachothers company and the next week you receive a call a seemingly ordinary friendly, loving call describing an intense medical diagnosis and bleak prognosis. You begin to realize the loved-one is trying to tell you their days are limited beyond ways we could have predicted. The pain is a blunt force to the head and heart. 

Word from a close family member leaves you numb as notification of the passing of our loved one sends shock waves over you like a tsunami of pain and disbelief. Is it more bearable to be prepared for the death of a loved one or is it somehow less painful to be blindsided by death. Either way, the death of a longstanding friend, a sister from another mother, is as sad and heart whenching as the satisfaction of knowing you shared so much life with such a special person. 🕊

Twice As Much

Twice as much of anything means something extra like a little effort to offer more love, peace, compassion and things in life that warm your own heart and inspire you to play it forward. Equipped with twice the power to spread something around in the littlest and biggest way, quietly or with a commanding voice. In an understated way we pray twice as hard for the overstated nonsense in the world to vanish or maybe morph into more of the things that are constructive and creative. 

With twice the intention, twice as much hope with a little more appreciation the doubly delightful spaces we can go to and not rush away from become places to double-down on, retreat to and feel good about. The places inside us that give and receive the simplest of elements, a basic nutrient that sustains life; Love which matters most now since right now has never happened before. 

Pennies from Heaven

 

Dearly beloved Boxer dog, Jax, is great proof that heaven spills over on earth. The pets, pooches and pussy cats in life absolutely make life more livable, lovable and laughable. Not very chatty yet able to convey a love sublime, special, simple and unconditional. 

How wonderful to have a good dog around who is at once protective, playful, peaceful and precious the best kind of companion without fuss just happy to be there on the ready for a walk, a hug and kiss about the head and furry face. A faithful loyal presence as quiet as he is at times crazy, silly and super sweet, surely what God had in mind when best friends and the most cherished family members we will ever know, were created. Indeed, pets are like pennies and whispers from heaven. A powerful and sometimes prayerful presence equipped with wet kisses and warm bodies to cuddle with and keep you warm in the coldest, cruelest moments of our lives. I🤍Jax 🐾

Best Practice

Some day's you're full of it, bs, hot air, uncertain about things, your own self worth. Thankfully
those moments do not take-up the whole day. I chalk it up to dark forces that seek to ruin beautiful impressionable and otherwise stable minds and hearts, vulnerable to low-level influences and contaminated stream of thinking, which often leads to negative self talk or lazy thinking in general eschewed perspective about anything, people, places memories, the future, a waste of time, festering good for nothing doubt, despair, fear, anger, dry seeds that require sifting and cleaning though as soon as possible, to make room for strong, healthy, kind, gracious mindful thinking. The idea is to live in the present moment which we know is absolutely the best practice for allowing love to flow in and out. 

Day's you feel good about yourself, more on the Christopher Robin side of the spectrum of personality types, a leader, excellent team player at the very least, kind, gentle and benevolent, are nice. Winnie and his tender heart, good guy, unique, curious and one who does not rush about life whether a melee ensues or sitting quietly perfectly fine neither thinking about anything in particular nor fretting over much more than the bare necessities needed to get through the day (calls to mind another bear, Rudyard Kipling named him, Baloo from The Jungle Book, another thoughtful story where art imitates life.

Eeyore, another interesting resident of 100 Acre Forest, out of the imagination of A.A. Milne, is a donkey with a loose tail, a peace loving slow moving sad fellow who is loved by his fellow creatures. Maybe he will participate in life maybe he won't, a sullen sort not quick to speak or move in general. The sky seems dark around him even though the sun shines. Good thing the loyal friends do not judge slow poke, sad guy donkey who really does not want any trouble.

Rabbit, type A personality all the way, likes to get sh!t done, busy body but loyal to his crew, the Owl is also helpful, can-do type and of course pensive, likes to think things through. Tigger is flat out irrepressible and walks with a spring in his step, can't help himself. This big exuberant bouncing tiger is enthusiastic about everything. You can count on him if need be. Piglet is nervous. Much has been written, referred to and discussed about Pooh Bear and his fellow woodsmen and women, forgot mother Kanga and baby Roo. 

From children to Zen like teachings referring to great, small, powerful lessons reminding me of what is important to keep, revere, renew and reignite to thrive and keep things in simple proper perspective.

brunodelaroza.com

New and Improved

If we are talking about goals, striving for good health, happiness and peace inwardly and out from there is good for starters in the name of a new and improved year. I would like to fill in the blanks in my life, complete the sentence, project, thing, that requires completion or my attention at the very least. Yes, "fill in the blank", whatever that means,  for an empty person or blank moment as it dares you to somehow fill-in it's emptiness maybe even improve and bless that which requires 

So much of life is unclear, blurred lines intersect as questions and answers, brew, bubble-up and spill-over to more uncertainty. One good thought or thing at a time as life unfurls, sometimes flailing about sometimes unfolding at it's own predictable, sometimes most unorthodox, mysterious pace, calmly, quietly, peacefully, at warp speed in slow motion always with, wings of God's speed and protection. 

To be alive is good to live our days peacefully and accomplish big or little blessed goals while we continue to grow even better and more beautiful for the wear and tear everyday.

Trick or Treat

Pick a hand, any hand, you will be dealt according to the luck of the draw and your choices, as the challenges of life play tricks on you along with accompanying treats. One adapts and modifies accordingly. Ideally, going with the flow rather than fighting the current, it makes for a smoother ride and more positive outcome to move along peacefully, not necessarily quietly but peacefully for sure. Treachery in people, leaders and teachers and others who may not have deserved our trust, become inspiration for change and courage to move in other more productive contributing ways. It is within our means to cultivate our own environment and desire the best for ourselves and others. Very simply, my prayer is for loving, harmonious days and nights, for everyone, everywhere.

When we think and speak from a peaceful place, the world seems to be much more approachable. When we are lost in doubt, fear, despair, worry, we create chaos for ourselves. Runaway thoughts and feelings only render confusion and overwhelm an otherwise peaceful moment. Worrying becomes a go-to familiar thing to do especially during stressful times. It seems as though we find things to fret over, when it is much more satisfying to recalibrate our thinking, switch gears to a calm cool pool of ideas that do not suck the life and liveliness out of you. 

Sounds easy enough yet the dark forces of the world lurk about with every intention to discourage the encouraged. Hate-filled elements seek to run interference with beautiful minds, hearts and souls. The ones living life the best way they can with what they have. It doesn't take much to treat oneself to a good thought, something cheerful that will sprout joy. Small inconsequential things for ourselves or someone else can transform something ugly into a wonderful thing. It feels fine and right to fortify, nurture and grow our own goodness. Kindness is so spectacularly simple and effective in changing the direction of things at any given moment. 

To treat myself right and others well is correct, looking though the lens of dark illusions, disillusioned, jaded, bitter about injustice, unfairness, goodness muddied trampled on and tainted heartlessness of people, aspects of life that seem too harsh and hateful to be real. May we remember the important and powerful holy spirit and soul that shelters us, in direct association with Love, the sweetest of treats, gifts, blessings, how loves power lights our way.  We have the sacred capacity to shine and share light with those whose light has dimmed or think they have no light left at all.

Thoroughfare

It's been a while. I have missed you like a mother misses her child. I think about you often and hope you know how much I appreciate you in my life. We keep in touch by quick flashes of expression in other social media platforms, but I know it is not enough when you are here with open arms and an open heart on the ready to write it out. Thank you. I feel an indebtedness to the powerful resources you offer me as I look the other way. I pray, a sincere thoroughfare is being created at this very moment with these very words jumping on the surface of the screen onto this boxed set of thought and expression. I have missed your pliability and all the possibilities. I carry you around like an unopened big box of crayons waiting to be opened and used in the best way possible.

We exchange and share ideas with words and take them personally as if we own each letter that forms each thought and expression. Places words take us and bring us back to, with each personal custom made to order and fit our needs in a moments notice or without notice, like when one speaks before thinking which can cause problems, when you realize you should not have said something, after you say it.

Sincerest apologies for not connecting with you on a regular basis. It has been too long since we have sat together and complimented each other as nicely as we could. Moving forward and away from recent lack of posts into time to reflect on things, life, love, loss, light, darkness, doubt, despair, faith, hope, Grace.  I knew it would feel great to be in here with you again, I was right. Sigh. Thank you💗

Wonder

To maintain the wonderful sense of wonder through the years, through the times when we do not feel much like wondering what, why, where and how unless those questions are a matter of life and death. Maybe we simply get complacent, bored, jaded or luke-warm about life the world at large and it's many wonderous people, places and things. To maintain that magical wonder of youth at any age seems to be the key to staying young at heart rather than developing a particular blindness, tone-deafness or disensitivy to the savory and sweetness,  surrounding us.

I wonder how people get along in life without faith in something more than what is seen on this earthly plane. I wonder why animals do not talk and maybe grateful they don't except with their eyes, hearts and souls. I wonder why things like how people everywhere, are not cared for with more equality and respect. I wonder how the earth and all of its inhabitants came into existence among the vastness of the universe. 
I wonder how gravity, astronomy, physics, science and art operates and does the amazing mind-expanding things each  does. 

Where, when, who started it all? My faith in the author and creator of life answers some questions with broad strokes and sometimes with detailed information. Still, I wonder about the intricate nature of things and the dynamics involved but I am satisfied and at peace with the understanding that some questions will remain unanswered and the mysteries and wonders of life will go on.

A Funny Thing Pt.1

In my early 20s a funny thing happened on the way to the rest of my life. I got stuck in my head about everything. The agony of despair, doubt, not knowing the questions to ask, how or who to ask, much less the answer's to look for during what I came to refer to as the 'crossroads'. Pitch black and numbing, nothing seemed right or real, no joy only what feels like going through the motions. Peggy Lee sang about the thick suffocating human experience called; "the blues", aka, feeling shitty, depression. In the song that laments about life; "Is That All There Is?" the musical questions ask about fulfillment, illusions and disillusions. Maybe it is more a matter of perception but based on what? Learned behavior, past or present experiences, genetics, predisposition, fate? What determines how one views things, through the lens of heartache, success, good or bad health. What triggers us is particular to each one of us. 

In a nut shell, I was conflicted by being born a girl but feeling like a boy and feeling bad about the damn internal messy, mixed-up thing of it all. Having a 'normal' twin brother was part of the calibration or constant self comparison that perhaps made me think I was a mistake. After those dark days saturated in sad grievous thoughts and walking head-on into the preverbal raging fire, I marched out the victor feeling like a bloodied, wore-torn soldier but standing tall after fighting the battle of a lifetime, I am good, 'rustic', one of kind, better for the wear and tear and aging quite imperfectly. It has been, is now and will be I pray, the faith, hope, comfort I receive from The Holy Spirit(s) above, among, around, under, in and out of us and what can not be fathomed. The girl and boy, man and woman in me is soft, strong, tender, sheds tears of joy and can feel like a badass all at once.

In the song; "Alfie" again the question begs for answers; "What's It All About, Alfie?" The answers sometimes surface out of nothing and nowhere for some, for others the answers to the perplexities never go away and for others various therapeutic methods, means and ways of digging oneself out of virtual hell involves a resolve to surrender to something big or barely there, something within, greater than any real or imagined problems, worries, aches or pains. Some questions simply will never be answered that is the thing, as we absolutely have the capacity to decide in an instant, at warp speed or the gradual realization of your own preciousness, the sacredness of life in all it's painful unfair ways, presenting itself in such a blessed way, you have a choice, to switch mental gears, is one choice when your heart desperately wants to heal and move forward new and improved. It happens, it is a most humbling and magnificent illustration of God's amazing Grace. 

Music

What can you say about music that hasn't been said? From my point of view and from what I hear, music means so much to so many. It is taken personally as friend and a foe, a joy bringer and prompter of pain and energizer. With music an atmosphere is created, the mood is set, motivation on the ready. The emotional aspect of music brings one to tears as easily as the cheers, the quiet, calm memory to emotions of elation, excitation and exhilaration when it feels like your heart wants to jump out of your chest. Just as certain sad songs evoke sorrowful memories, longing, loneliness, the music, melody or lyrics recall the very moments of life we were living when the song came out. The stories told in song are powerful, poignant, corny and compelling as life itself. Lyrics dress-up the music to create such a compatible composition while the instruments add dimension and layers of texture to a song, throw in a great voice and magic takes place. Musical recordings are awesome gifts and a great companion through the years, an exciting place to go for quick sound bites or to take along on long road trips, to keep you company and facilitate inspiration.

Music is like a comforting blanket you wrap yourself in, you fill your head and your heart with the warmth of the sounds, the instruments and voice may be an irresistible chance encounter you hoped to get to know and remember forever. Music is like an old and new friend or member of the family, an entity, spirit, a thing that has always been there in good times and bad, the soundtrack of our own story plays on with a playlist that includes oldies, sentimental, festive, fancy, edgy, mellow and maniacal melodies. It's all there, the soulful, heart stopping, tear-jerking, dance-inducing, thought provoking, melodic, always laden with rhythm to get my attention.

I can not imagine a world without music even though there are times when my brain is on overload and does not know what to do with another note. The essence of music flows, softly or sternly bringing about overwhelming feelings, it can be too much as the sound saturates the air with a liquid type matter that makes me feel like I am drowning in it. The slightest sound of music can keep me awake or wake me up while a lullaby puts me to sleep, depending on the volume, the tune and if I am tired or not. Music is as reliable a relationship in my life as the moon, the sun and Holy Spirit. A matter of fact, emotional connection and partnership that I am happy to say; will always have a prominent place in my life.

Beautiful Companion

How grateful I am for you in my life. THANK YOU for being the perfect creature you are, for your faithful companionship, your trust in me and the unconditional love you bless me with. I appreciate you so much and would be very sad without you. The joy you have brought into my life and continue to bring is as bright and beautiful as the sunniest day known to the world.

Your quiet, simple presence fills me with comfort and peace just as your humble heart and soul settles my storms. Even while you yourself are afraid of thunder and lightening we stay close to protect each other as I repeat to you; "It's OK, it's OK".  We manage to see each other through the chaotic moments that seem bigger than both of us. I take refuge in you dear dog. Time and time again you come around like a ship looking for the lighthouse to light your way. Don't you know it's you who lights my path just as all furry angels on four legs will do. 

No judgement ever, only what feels like pure love and loyalty defined. You give meaning to the whole point of having and caring for a pet. "A pet" seems like a mere word with only the slightest description of what you truly mean; which is an awesome being who blesses me everyday with your sweet, unassuming ways. To look into your precious eyes is like looking into a little bit of heaven where all creatures big, little, furry or bald, wet, wild, tame, domesticated and feral go when their lives are done here on earth. Your unpretentiousness has been a guiding light for me and a constant reminder to simply be true to myself taking one step at a time, one sip of water, one bite of food, one kiss, hug, bark, walk, run, nap, moment of fun at a time. My beautiful companion how very precious you are.

Quid Pro Quo (This for that)

Funny how we wheel and deal with life, situations, with people, adversity, every triumph and

tragedy. It's not a heehehee kind of funny but a peculiar rational or irrational-type of funny. The moments we are fearless be it out of necessity or simply the requisite to get through the raging or quiet storm. When our only choice is to run, hide or fight for our lives with every breath and aching heart-beat, from the deep murky depths into the fiery places where we stow our courage, on the ready to mount-up. The times we feel scantily clad with bravery yet somehow muster-up the strength enough to come up for air out of darkness into the light. Blind faith in exchange for answered prayers, conquered challenges met by solid determination to come out of the wild weather,  braver, better, badder for the wear and tear. 

The peaks seem unsurmountable, plateaus level off accordingly. We are left exhausted, exhilarated, inspired and ready or not, again armed with the capacity to deal with life's speed bumps and road blocks. In a strange and wonderful way; resilience and collateral damage have an understanding, to use the apropriate arsenal which makes way for the right to bear such arms in the event of painful, rough, unfair, burdensome, raw, trails and tribulations. It's funny how the dreary, dreaded, scathing, grueling times seem to move in show motion yet we see ourselves through, we propel ourselves into a personal evolution at which point we humbly yield to ageless growing pains.

Watching life unfold as loved ones pass away, it squeezes out every drop of blood from your heart. You feel left out to dry as vultures circle over awaiting their dried-out feast. Death comes to the young and old, the living and nearly dead dying and those who have checked-out in various ways. Meanwhile, the daily grind, hurry-up, get it done, your busy, your tired, your burnt-out and over it demands your attention. Local, national and international affairs only serve to fill you with doubt and despair, the mess translates into stress. What can you do but pray, make a deal for inner peace between your head and your heart, quid pro quo. Maintaining positive perspective, hope, faith, compassion, kindness, each priceless quality and virtue, it's own answered prayer. The trade-off? Peace of mind, reprieve and damage control. 

Pick Up The Peices

Being an upright, contributing member of society is nice and expected of me and you. Keeping it all together however, can be a little tricky and not always as easy as we'd like. The day-in, day-out grind of life gnaws, nags, twists and shouts ugly profanities in our face. It's interesting, how ups seem bigger after each obstacle is overcome and the down's drill deeper into the abyss of my angst. The choice is mine to decide which trajectory I choose and prefer and have the guts to handle, faster than lighting or painfully slow, lingering into nothing.   
                                           

We blaze through life on automatic pilot expecting everything to go according to plans, if you've made them. We get tripped-up by unforeseen challenges and all hell breaks loose until we get a hold of ourselves. How long the hysteria lasts depends upon the profundity of the "challenge(s)" and also, the position we take on the matter. Perception can snap-us right out of the throws of despair or leave us wallowing in the murky contaminated waters of fear, anger, impatience and stress.

It can take some doing to resolve the brain war but it can be done swiftly with concentrated focus and intention. To recalibrate thinking to a peaceful place where we are able to pick up the pieces, is to be ready to take on the next thing that might threaten our safety, peace of mind, heart and soul. ♥

Creature Comforts

What makes a creature the way it is? It's evolutionary predecessor? The author and creator, finisher of life? What makes life the way it is? In design, form, function, anymore lovely, lovable, dangerous, repulsive or irresistible than the other? Where it is placed, in flight like the snow geese or crane, in the water, the rain, on land or in a grain of sand? In the tropics or in the high desert? Cared for, comfortable, miserable, feared or forgotten? An innocent dog is "awarded" the title of 'World's Ugliest Dog', with it's little naked head shivering, bulging eyes glisten as a bright brilliant smile frame it's dangling tongue.

The soul so simple and complicated serving as humankind's habitat, the heartland and epicenter of our existence. As nomads we sojourn lost, found, disconnected and connected to each other in time and in the places where our hearts and souls lead us. One heart, one vibration transcending nations, scary, serious, sad, silly,  inspiring situations occur. One imagines a different life, comparing, compromising, hopeful compassion is in place coexisting, codependent upon one another for matters of the mind and body.

How the spirit thrives off of a pulsating planet, people, plants, animals, dwellers of water, land and air breathing one sacred breath into the other. The preciousness of life, this moment, the past and future precious life. The humble, the haughty, the cavalier, crazy, the creative, cranky and incredible, every single speck of light, every dark corner of the world may contain earths elements, from massive elegant oceanic sea creatures to flightless birds who run into the sky like a dream then lands gracefully back on solid ground. Priceless are the treasures of this world.

Beginnings

The beginning of new life, a new day or year, a relationship, project or career, it starts out at the beginning so hopeful, happy about the possibilities the goodness and potential growth. We wonder which direction the wind will take us. We move forward with good intention to love, to be our best, a blessing and better for the wear and tear.

Beginnings prepare the way for the rest of the journey and destination the challenge to do it right with respect to those in our orbit. We honor precious life by living on the one day at a time plan, learning lessons we hope, gently, loving in accordance with those we must treasure, cherish and love to infinity as we keep them close to our heart and we grow like beautiful flowers in the garden, as the days go by the tending of our garden becomes second nature and necessary to thrive and stay alive. Life unfolds in mysterious ways we could have never guessed and more than our imagination could have ever dreamed as the left curves and sharp edges and sudden twists and turns leave us bewildered but stronger and wiser, toughened-up and tenderized.

From the beginning we start fresh with any luck on an even playing field with equal opportunities and chances to create a quality of life,  beautiful moments, times that matter, mean the most and are important. We start with an eagerness to make it count, to be excellent for excellence sake, to anticipate the extraordinary in the seemingly ordinary places and people, situations and experiences that will stay with us forever if only in our memory. In the end we want to look back at a good run, the good fight for the betterment of the whole, the love that will linger in our thoughts, forlorn for those heartfelt connections however fleeting or lasting they are. We hope for and hang-on to happiness, peace of mind, finding our way, quiet nights and full days filled with joy and the satisfying fragrance of everyday miracles, blessings, light, love, laughter, encouragement, respect and endings that may or may not happen at all.

PEACE

PEACE is a place in our hearts, souls, minds and in the world, it creates change, awareness, strength and stability it thrives in positive environments and seeks to dwell in quiet places. It has the capacity to balance what is uneven and can right a wrong. It longs to keep company with life's light and hastens away if not regarded as important. *It is prayerful and blessed, full of grace supercharged with fierce intention, blind faith and the power to still a savage storm and tame the cruelest conditions. It is available and eager to be discovered during moments of unrest and strain although elusive as the wind it is accessible as one's own thoughts, it is a must have life-saving necessity, a force and matter of self preservation. *Peace is essential to a solid state of mind and best obtained by it's own definition; peacefully and with respect to the precious nature of it's very existence.