INSTRUCTIONS INSIDE

Here is a simple yet strong string of pearls. It radiates a resounding message of soul-deep, precious and important built-in capabilities we are born with.

SHINE LIKE THE SUN, GLOW LIKE THE MOON, THEY SAID. 

INSTRUCTIONS INSIDE

A Funny Thing Pt.1

In my early 20s a funny thing happened on the way to the rest of my life. I got stuck in my head about everything. The agony of despair, doubt, not knowing the questions to ask, how or who to ask, much less the answer's to look for during what I came to refer to as the 'crossroads'. Pitch black and numbing, nothing seemed right or real, no joy only what feels like going through the motions. Peggy Lee sang about the thick suffocating human experience called; "the blues", aka, feeling shitty, depression. In the song that laments about life; "Is That All There Is?" the musical questions ask about fulfillment, illusions and disillusions. Maybe it is more a matter of perception but based on what? Learned behavior, past or present experiences, genetics, predisposition, fate? What determines how one views things, through the lens of heartache, success, good or bad health. What triggers us is particular to each one of us. 

In a nut shell, I was conflicted by being born a girl but feeling like a boy and feeling bad about the damn internal messy, mixed-up thing of it all. Having a 'normal' twin brother was part of the calibration or constant self comparison that perhaps made me think I was a mistake. After those dark days saturated in sad grievous thoughts and walking head-on into the preverbal raging fire, I marched out the victor feeling like a bloodied, wore-torn soldier but standing tall after fighting the battle of a lifetime, I am good, 'rustic', one of kind, better for the wear and tear and aging quite imperfectly. It has been, is now and will be I pray, the faith, hope, comfort I receive from The Holy Spirit(s) above, among, around, under, in and out of us and what can not be fathomed. The girl and boy, man and woman in me is soft, strong, tender, sheds tears of joy and can feel like a badass all at once.

In the song; "Alfie" again the question begs for answers; "What's It All About, Alfie?" The answers sometimes surface out of nothing and nowhere for some, for others the answers to the perplexities never go away and for others various therapeutic methods, means and ways of digging oneself out of virtual hell involves a resolve to surrender to something big or barely there, something within, greater than any real or imagined problems, worries, aches or pains. Some questions simply will never be answered that is the thing, as we absolutely have the capacity to decide in an instant, at warp speed or the gradual realization of your own preciousness, the sacredness of life in all it's painful unfair ways, presenting itself in such a blessed way, you have a choice, to switch mental gears, is one choice when your heart desperately wants to heal and move forward new and improved. It happens, it is a most humbling and magnificent illustration of God's amazing Grace. 

Fireflies >< (Part 2)

In the June 14th, 2006 "Fireflies" blog, I lamented about people whose lives hold more challenges than many, the blind, the broken hearted and grieving, the aging, those bent and broken. Now as we acknowledge another holiday season, there is a keen awareness of those who, by their own design or have been dealt an unfair hand, would just as soon forget this time of year when great dreams and wishes have not come true with the probability of them not happening at all.

We see people another type of "Firefly" close to home or far away suffering, lost, wandering aimlessly. What and when will they eat their next meal? Where will they sleep, how will they be protected from the harshness of the elements. The cold air bites as hard as the razor sharp teeth of a hungry shark. Not having shelter or someone to come home to let alone having a place at all to call home. I wonder how so many people end up displaced, without the comfort of a warm bed and roof over their head. What happened? How can a person, a child, a pet, families be out in the cold? In a country with resources such as the United States it seems that it is more like the Divided States of a sad America with the haves and the have not's left to figure things out.  Find a way to survive, thrive, live a comfortable, happy, healthy life free from agonizing worries and fear, scared about the future and what lies ahead. Any attempt to fly away from the scorching oppressive heat of bad decisions, scathing disappointments, displacement, life's cruel conditions and circumstances smolder and feel like hell when the big questions are; "What is the next move and where is a safe place to go?"

If and when we see a "firefly" we must do what we can to lift the burden(s), one person at a time. Whatever it is that we might offer if only a sincere prayer and good thought that they may somehow find their way, find relief from their misery, a way out of the darkness into some manner of comfort. What can I do besides look away into the next thought or place unencumbered by the sorrowful weight of knowing someone is suffering so. What can I do then but be as good and grateful a person as possible. In a world where the scales of justice, peace and prosperity are so unbalanced it would seem the very least I can do is to cast a good light on whomever I encounter. Shed a light of peace and kindness, a compassionate attitude toward others everywhere without judgement and while I'm at it perhaps provide sustenance of some sort to one brought down by hardship. Something to support another being through life, a spark of hope, a gesture of goodness that might shore-up a person who is down. 

It is well within our scope to be a soft and strong landing for another if only for the moment. Whatever it is we do, we do in the name of being humane, soulful and empathetic. To handle one another with care is best as all of us have found ourselves at times, fireflies wandering and wondering where, how, when and who will hear our cry, understand our pain, our quest for peace and longing for a fair and level playing field where hope, peace and joy are truly the order of the day and dreams seem as possible and probable as the best times of our lives and fireflies fly freely, capable of taking good care of themselves and light the way for others lost in the darkness.

Sunni Marie Jack Paz Guadalupita ~

The New Year begins with the heartbreaking decision to let beloved Boxer girl, Sunni Marie transition on into a perfect state where peace is the oxygen and love is worn like fur.

Sleep in heavenly peace precious pet, daughter dog, fantastic member of the family ~

Tumors growing quickly in her lungs caused her breathing to become increasingly labored. She was noble, strong, sweet, loving and beautiful through her last soft beath. She went peacefully and was surrounded by her people who are humbled, honored, blessed and better people because of her.

Everyone should die in such a calm, quiet manner. How to say goodbye and when? It never feels right, never easy, never a perfect moment, until it is upon you. The sad goodbye's in life leave you feeling bewildered, heartsick, lonely for the life that came into yours. The finality is razor sharp when reality takes it's ravenous bite out of you.

You start hearing familiar little sounds as you walk into an empty house devoid of that loving, simple, exuberance and kind presence. To say we miss Sunni Marie is to understate the importance of one who seemed to live for her people's sake. What a great spirit who will be remembered so endearingly. Yes, that little girl will be missed and mentioned often. Sunni Marie Jack Paz Guadalupita, you will remain alive and well in our hearts and souls you crazy wonderful Sundog!

Simple

Oh c'mon, this has got to be the best of the best commercials ever, simply brilliant! 

This video is currently my all time favorite, it is world class kooky, crazy, fun. The ensemble cast of creatures  blend in purrfect harmony to create a colossal progrum and make beautiful music together.

This is the stuff sweet dreams are made of and might perhps offer a glimpse of heaven.

Hope 2013 is strong, healthy, happy and full of really good stuff!