Or Is It Just Me

The world seems to be moving at warp speed, you get on with the trials and tribulations, the mundane and the magical moments, then one day you look-up and months and years have gone by, or is it just me. The cares and concerns, that took up so much of your life at one time are not even given more than a fleeting thought now, or is it just me. 

The challenges sometimes one after the other, once thought to be overwhelming and unsurmountable have been met with courage and the will to proceed accordingly and we feel satisfied knowing we did what it took to get something done, or is it just me. 

We can't get enough of some people sometimes all we want is to be alone nice and quiet in our own private space, or is it just me. Sometimes we crave the sound of melody, rhythm and a good story in a song, when  music is the only antidote and sometimes at the end of the day we cannot bear one note of a tune, it is time to refrain from listening to what we take so much comfort in at other times. It is simply time to take a break turn-off the music and tune-in to the spaciousness of silence, or is it just me.

Layers

Layers of life stack-up, spread-out and shape one's way. It happens in an instant and over a period of time with the subtlty of a wrecking ball or a whisper. Changes occur without warning and can leave one feeling better or battered and bruised. The laws of peaceful living easily disrupted by a layer of messy consequences or leave one feeling lifted, new and improved. It all depends on the type of layer life is dealing or has dealt. The layers of emotion, thoughts, feelings, forms of communication, natural, supernatural elements that are artificial or authentic, simple and complicated, hard not to take personally and every stunning to stinkin layer, are best handled with care, peace and love.

Layers of love can resemble a beautiful bright moon or amazing sunset spectacular and filled with every single glimmer of light and goodness that it illuminates. Layers of love can be dark and tear one's heart out left in the middle of nowhere. Love's layers abound, sometimes predictable or full of surprises, the duration and quality of it's very presence are ultimately left to it's own conclusions, mysteriously woven into life as miraculously as life itself.

Layers of sight, sound, smell and touch can be as transparent as air, shake you to the core with sorrow or leave you speechless from delight, humbled and in awe and in appreciation of the moment. The sight of something rare and wonderful as a beautiful butterfly floating along it's merry way, creates a layer of euphoria while the sight of someone suffering is heart wrenching and weighs heavy on your mind. The layers of sound like laughter while a loud abrupt noise prompts anger, confusion, annoyance at the very least. To hear the sound of a running stream, birds chirping, leaves rustling in the wind or a great melody just done decorate one's day with fundamental layers of life. To smell freshly roasted green chile or other favorite food being prepared, the familiar scent of a loved one, a flower and the sweetness after a rain are welcome fragrances that linger in your memory.

Wonder

To maintain the wonderful sense of wonder through the years, through the times when we do not feel much like wondering what, why, where and how unless those questions are a matter of life and death. Maybe we simply get complacent, bored, jaded or luke-warm about life the world at large and it's many wonderous people, places and things. To maintain that magical wonder of youth at any age seems to be the key to staying young at heart rather than developing a particular blindness, tone-deafness or disensitivy to the savory and sweetness,  surrounding us.

I wonder how people get along in life without faith in something more than what is seen on this earthly plane. I wonder why animals do not talk and maybe grateful they don't except with their eyes, hearts and souls. I wonder why things like how people everywhere, are not cared for with more equality and respect. I wonder how the earth and all of its inhabitants came into existence among the vastness of the universe. 
I wonder how gravity, astronomy, physics, science and art operates and does the amazing mind-expanding things each  does. 

Where, when, who started it all? My faith in the author and creator of life answers some questions with broad strokes and sometimes with detailed information. Still, I wonder about the intricate nature of things and the dynamics involved but I am satisfied and at peace with the understanding that some questions will remain unanswered and the mysteries and wonders of life will go on.

INSTRUCTIONS INSIDE

Here is a simple yet strong string of pearls. It radiates a resounding message of soul-deep, precious and important built-in capabilities we are born with.

SHINE LIKE THE SUN, GLOW LIKE THE MOON, THEY SAID. 

INSTRUCTIONS INSIDE

Another Month

Here's to another month that celebrates love, presidents, groundhogs, the color red and Chinese New Year. Every month marks something special, significant in some manner be it of a wonderful or regrettable matter. We hope for good days but roll with the punches accordingly on other days. The goal is to be better in any measure than the day 

before. 

A Funny Thing Pt.1

In my early 20s a funny thing happened on the way to the rest of my life. I got stuck in my head about everything. The agony of despair, doubt, not knowing the questions to ask, how or who to ask, much less the answer's to look for during what I came to refer to as the 'crossroads'. Pitch black and numbing, nothing seemed right or real, no joy only what feels like going through the motions. Peggy Lee sang about the thick suffocating human experience called; "the blues", aka, feeling shitty, depression. In the song that laments about life; "Is That All There Is?" the musical questions ask about fulfillment, illusions and disillusions. Maybe it is more a matter of perception but based on what? Learned behavior, past or present experiences, genetics, predisposition, fate? What determines how one views things, through the lens of heartache, success, good or bad health. What triggers us is particular to each one of us. 

In a nut shell, I was conflicted by being born a girl but feeling like a boy and feeling bad about the damn internal messy, mixed-up thing of it all. Having a 'normal' twin brother was part of the calibration or constant self comparison that perhaps made me think I was a mistake. After those dark days saturated in sad grievous thoughts and walking head-on into the preverbal raging fire, I marched out the victor feeling like a bloodied, wore-torn soldier but standing tall after fighting the battle of a lifetime, I am good, 'rustic', one of kind, better for the wear and tear and aging quite imperfectly. It has been, is now and will be I pray, the faith, hope, comfort I receive from The Holy Spirit(s) above, among, around, under, in and out of us and what can not be fathomed. The girl and boy, man and woman in me is soft, strong, tender, sheds tears of joy and can feel like a badass all at once.

In the song; "Alfie" again the question begs for answers; "What's It All About, Alfie?" The answers sometimes surface out of nothing and nowhere for some, for others the answers to the perplexities never go away and for others various therapeutic methods, means and ways of digging oneself out of virtual hell involves a resolve to surrender to something big or barely there, something within, greater than any real or imagined problems, worries, aches or pains. Some questions simply will never be answered that is the thing, as we absolutely have the capacity to decide in an instant, at warp speed or the gradual realization of your own preciousness, the sacredness of life in all it's painful unfair ways, presenting itself in such a blessed way, you have a choice, to switch mental gears, is one choice when your heart desperately wants to heal and move forward new and improved. It happens, it is a most humbling and magnificent illustration of God's amazing Grace. 

Music

What can you say about music that hasn't been said? From my point of view and from what I hear, music means so much to so many. It is taken personally as friend and a foe, a joy bringer and prompter of pain and energizer. With music an atmosphere is created, the mood is set, motivation on the ready. The emotional aspect of music brings one to tears as easily as the cheers, the quiet, calm memory to emotions of elation, excitation and exhilaration when it feels like your heart wants to jump out of your chest. Just as certain sad songs evoke sorrowful memories, longing, loneliness, the music, melody or lyrics recall the very moments of life we were living when the song came out. The stories told in song are powerful, poignant, corny and compelling as life itself. Lyrics dress-up the music to create such a compatible composition while the instruments add dimension and layers of texture to a song, throw in a great voice and magic takes place. Musical recordings are awesome gifts and a great companion through the years, an exciting place to go for quick sound bites or to take along on long road trips, to keep you company and facilitate inspiration.

Music is like a comforting blanket you wrap yourself in, you fill your head and your heart with the warmth of the sounds, the instruments and voice may be an irresistible chance encounter you hoped to get to know and remember forever. Music is like an old and new friend or member of the family, an entity, spirit, a thing that has always been there in good times and bad, the soundtrack of our own story plays on with a playlist that includes oldies, sentimental, festive, fancy, edgy, mellow and maniacal melodies. It's all there, the soulful, heart stopping, tear-jerking, dance-inducing, thought provoking, melodic, always laden with rhythm to get my attention.

I can not imagine a world without music even though there are times when my brain is on overload and does not know what to do with another note. The essence of music flows, softly or sternly bringing about overwhelming feelings, it can be too much as the sound saturates the air with a liquid type matter that makes me feel like I am drowning in it. The slightest sound of music can keep me awake or wake me up while a lullaby puts me to sleep, depending on the volume, the tune and if I am tired or not. Music is as reliable a relationship in my life as the moon, the sun and Holy Spirit. A matter of fact, emotional connection and partnership that I am happy to say; will always have a prominent place in my life.